December 2010
A Scene (for dads)...
H: How’s your stomach? OK? I don’t think that chorizo was good. M: Absolutely fine. H: You sure? M: Yep. H: But you spent all morning in the bathroom. M: Yep. H: … M: Me time.
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"Their budget is $1.5 million and they will pay...
Who the fuck are the people on House Hunters International and what the hell do they do for a living?
I need to buy an iPod (iPhone) adapter for my car.
Would prefer one that tunes into a radio station, but what do you guys use?
"Daddy, you left the box of cookies where I can...
Fucking weirdo honest kid.
Some days are bad...
…other days, I’m 3/4 of the way through a piece of acrylic on the table saw in the model shop and I realize I’m still wearing a scarf. Almost earned a Darwin.
Not one of you posted Christmas in the Drunk Tank.
Without it, I was lost (lost like Shane MacGowan’s teeth).
It's like cabin fever in reverse.
everythinginthesky:
Walking through the small English village, you smile at the farmers, you wave at the twee children and you pat the cows.
You think about attending the church fete.
And all the while, a small voice in your head whispers, “You could run it. You could rule this whole damn place with a fist of iron.”
And so, while you exchange pleasantries with the elderly couple next door,...
"Biv" is not an acceptable word on Words With...
Huh, now ya know. That word is poison.
Truthful Tuesday
It’s Monday.
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Natalie Portman Is Engaged and Pregnant!
dascola:
fynatalieportman:
Her reps confirmed to People that she’s engaged to Benjamin Millepied and pregnant with her first child! I’m so happy for her, congrats Natalie! :)
Fuck.
Fucking hell. First Penelope, then Padma, now this. My girls are dropping.
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Quickest way to load a pellet gun that looks like...
Forget to close the storm door and read a story about a rash of break-ins, then step outside in 20 degree weather and realize how small your penis looks in boxers with a fully loaded weapon of blood-blistered ouchies whilst looking at a loud storm door you forgot to pull shut.
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Words with friends.
I have 40 minutes left in my shift and still no customers. Find me.
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The hardest part about working so many hours...
Every time I put on my shoes, my son asks me, “When will you be coming home from work?”
“Just taking out the trash, buddy.”
"Remember how I had the idea about toying with the...
Oh, you didn’t.
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