May 2013
A Scene...
B: Jesus, this looks like a bachelor party.
M: Just sign the damn expense report.
On ALS.
Fucking horrible disease. We all know. Fuck diseases that fuck people.
That being said, if I were to visit one of my old regulars in hospice, what physical thing could I provide him to increase his quality of life? That being said said, he’s a Harvard educated lawyer with a penchant for aged tequila. That being said said said, I just want to talk to the guy but he talks about the scent of...
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A Scene...
H: Thank you for everything. It was wonderful.
M: Don’t go in the bathroom.
H: Noted.
M: Champagne?
H: Yes, please.
M: Seriously, stay away from there.
H: Indeed.
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As soon as you think of a reason why you can't do...
Two chicks at the same time, man.
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A Scene...
B: We need you to go to Geneva on the 14th.
M: Ich habe meinen Reisepass!
B: New York, dummy.
M: Ich habe Durchfall in meinem Herzen.
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April 2013
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We now have a garage.
I will begin selling garage recliners in one week.
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Richie Havens
My parents were watching the Woodstock movie and I sat there glued to the screen. I was only about nine or so, but his voice, presence and crazy ass fingernails got my attention. Haven’t been able to kick my Havens habit since.
RIP with yo crazy ass nails, Richie.
A scene...
M: Did you pack the bar?
W: Yep. We drank it.
M: You sure?
W: How’s your headache?
M: Don’t patronize me.
W: …
M: …
W: Seriously, the Bulleit was cashed in two days. Movers cashed the beers. Pine fin vodka went yesterday.
M: Where. Is. The. Pineapple.
W: Oh, shit.
M: Let’s do this.
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(In)accuracy in Reporting: The Boston Marathon...
sasquatchmedia:
I was literally working on a slide presentation about the qualities of great journalism when news broke of the Boston Marathon bombings. A key characteristic of journalism, as we all know, is accuracy. As the hours and days passed, I sat and waited for the mistakes to roll out, grabbing screenshots of errors to add to my slides about how not to do journalism
I knew I wouldn’t...
Moving Protip:
- Stock fridges in both places with beer.
- Keep cooler in truck (last item in, first item out).
- Ask stoner friends to help you move because it’s 4/20 and they’d be really fucking bummed, man, about that ding they put in your drywall so, like, they promise as a bro they’re going to be super duper on point with going around corners and shit from that point on.
- Buy them lots...
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Flip book free ware.
Anybody have a good site/source that you can download direct to your puter without purchase?
Love them all.
Perhaps Allah will put, between you and those to whom you have been enemies among them, affection. And Allah is competent, and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. -Quran 60:7
But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. - Mathew 5:44
They who are insulted but insult not back; who hear themselves reproached but answer not; who serve out of love and rejoice in their...
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“I have arrived at no set date for my whiskey, for the whiskey is in charge, not...”
– Kelly Sauber, owner of Dancing Tree Distillery in southeast Ohio, on the future release of their newest product.
This concept should be embraced on more than just whiskey.
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thelastof:
“The most important thing to remember about drunks is that drunks are far more intelligent than non-drunks. They spend a lot of time talking in pubs, unlike workaholics who concentrate on their careers and ambitions, who never develop their higher spiritual values, who never explore the insides of their head like a drunk does.”
Shane Macgowan
I won’t say that this quote is...
radotsuki:
Do you ever like have a name totally ruined for you because you knew some asshole with that name and now no matter the person’s own virtues they have to get over this huge hurdle which is their name
I hate my ex-girlfriend, Adolf.
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What to call your Tumblr post that gets thousands...
nickdouglas:
“Dashbreaker.”
Insooutso asked what we should call Tumblr posts that go huge, and most answers were like “annoying thing that fills your dashboard” and I realized that this works referring to the creator’s dashboard (“ugh, some popular blog reblogged that old Batman name generator I blogged, and now I can’t see notes on my other posts”) or to any reader’s dashboard (“Jesus Christ,...
